Recherche: une jeune fille au pair

‘If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.’
Ernest Hemingway

Whether or not I want to be an au pair again is a question I have been mulling over ever since I left Valencia.

I thoroughly enjoyed my experience there. Truly. Honestly. I had the most wonderful host family, and the most loveliest of children. They were welcoming and talkative and sincerely wanted to know about me and my life. They didn’t ask me to do housework, they took me on holiday with them, they didn’t mind if I came in at 6am, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and then took the kids to school. Not that I ever did this. But they wouldn’t have minded.

Some people I talked to about the experience may not have realised how much I enjoyed it. Au pairs have a habit of bitching to each other about their families, because they need a support system, and other au pairs are the only ones who have any idea what they are going through. You can’t bitch to your real family or friends, because they’ll rationalise everything and try to make you see straight. So I bitched to the other au pairs. They bitched to me. We all bitched a lot, and sometimes we meant it. But that’s because no au pair experience is a fairytale. But mine was probably as close as they come.

Of course, I know not every au pair experience is like that. You hear horror stories from other au pairs, and they are actual horror stories, not my ‘the Girl threw a tantrum today because she wanted her dad to take her to school instead of me, stupid four-year-old for not being capable of rationalising like an adult’ sort of stories. These stories involve 10.30pm curfews, no set day off, a 40-something hour work week, parents who treat the au pair like a slave, children who are absolute terrors… they sound petty when you list them, but if you imagine living in those conditions, and never truly being able to escape from work, it starts to sound like hell.

And yet, I have been searching for a family in need of an au pair. As an unemployed graduate, I have plenty of time on my hands, and instead of finding a job or learning a language or teaching myself how to play guitar, I have been trawling the internet to find the best offers available. And, probably due to my previous experience in childcare and my not-so-naive approach, there aren’t many offers out there that please me. I want children of a manageable age with a basic knowledge of English, a sweet demeanour, and the ability to shut up and go to their rooms when told to. I want parents who recognise I am an adult, let me do what I want in my free time, and invite me to their summer house in the holidays. I want private accommodation, a set schedule, and pay good enough that I’m not losing money.

Preferably, all of this in Paris.

Just like being an au pair, living in Paris is the material of some people’s nightmares. But I have my heart set on it. I’ve had an offer from some Italians in Florence who seem lovely and willing to make me a part of the family (they even make their own olive oil, how perfect is that) but I’m putting off accepting it in the hope that something will turn up in Paris. Because I think Paris is magical.

Picture this: a chambre de bonne tucked under the rooftop of an ivy-covered 18th century building in the 7th arrondisement. A tiny little balcony with a flower box and a picture-perfect view of the Eiffel Tower. A desk where you could write a debut novel in the style of Hemingway while drinking wine from Bordeaux and eating fresh palmiers.  A café on the corner where you can sit outside, smoke cigarettes from cigarette holders, and sip on black coffee as you watch all of Paris whistle by on basketed bicycles, loaded with baguettes.

I know I’m not likely to find this fairytale. If I do end up in Paris, my funds will likely dwindle away slowly until I am left on the streets, broke, homeless, and analysing my life choices. But I will keep looking. And hopefully, one day soon, I will be able to confirm that yes, I am going to be an au pair again.